Why Children Slam Doors

Kathi Sohn
4 min readMar 16, 2022


Yes, children sometimes slam doors because they are angry.

However, I invite you to open your mind to another idea, because it could make a positive difference in your life. Body memory is another reason children slam doors, and it is body memory that holds the key to stopping unwanted behavior patterns and becoming healthier.

Body memory is real. We have all experienced it in everyday life. Do you switch between driving two vehicles that have different places for the gear stick? If you drive one vehicle more often than the other, you’ll find yourself pawing the air where you usually find the place to shift gears!

Anyone who has ever learned a choreographed dance knows that once the dance is learned well, thinking about individual steps will cause a mistake. Walking, typing, riding a bicycle, driving a car, and playing a sport are all examples of body memory in action.

There is another way body memory impacts our lives. This one is not as apparent, but it is no less powerful. As we grow, we make decisions that disappear into the unconscious until we don’t even remember we made a decision. As children, we were encouraged to play make-believe. What we were actually doing was making beliefs: judging, drawing conclusions, deciding good and bad and right and wrong. We were creating our own mythology.

It is important to recognize this phenomenon and also to realize the process involved in the creation of automatic behavior. Let us look at the interaction of children with doors as a good example.

When a child learns to close a door, a deliberate process of interaction is established and the child creates a relationship with each door separately, many doors being different. Some doors, such as those with springs, require a lot of force to open but none to close. Some doors require no force at all, like automatic doors. So the relationship with each door is distinct.

As the child grows, the relationship with each door changes but the child usually does not notice this happening. How to open or close a certain door is stored on a cellular level. Over time, the child continues to access the same cellular memory and continues with his stronger arm to close the same door with the same degree of force that he always used. This leads to a lot of slamming of doors — to which any parent can attest.

The child knows how to close a door — so unconsciously he almost refuses to re-learn the process. The pattern of closing doors must be relearned, yet no re-evaluation occurs until the parent demands a change.

This is a perfect example of any pattern or unconscious behavioral control. It is seemingly impossible to casually change such patterns. Often, in an attempt to create a different result, the individual works harder at his non-working behavior. This would be like a pianist practicing a piece of music every day without correcting any misplayed notes! The sound created would still have the disharmonies, regardless of the good intention or expectations of the diligently practicing pianist.

The Body Memory Process provides an opportunity to learn and heal from your body memories. Through the application of discovery, choice, and change, we are able to redesign the subconscious behavior patterns that often control us.

In time, this can empower us to totally recreate the fabric of our lives and allow us to completely change the quality of our journey, opening up heretofore undiscovered opportunities in every aspect of life, filling our lives with chosen rather than reflexive actions and feelings.

To you learn how you can discover and release your childhood vows, visit bodymemoryprocess.com.

Kat Sohn is a Life Coach, public speaker and writer, and the CEO of Body Memory Process, LLC. After the passing of her beloved husband David Sohn in late 2019, Kat retired from a 36-year career with the federal government to focus on raising their two children, Benjamin (12) and Sarah (8) and continuing David’s novel work, the Body Memory Process. To share this powerful healing process as widely as possible, Kat has created courses, articles and seminars about the work. You can learn more about the Body Memory Process at bodymemoryprocess.com.

What is a Childhood Vow — YouTube

Happiness and Joy During Turbulent Times https://medium.com/authority-magazine/happiness-and-joy-during-turbulent-times-kathi-sohn-of-body-



Kathi Sohn

Core belief expert and life coach; I love to help parents connect and communicate with their children in a way that creates calm and cooperation in the home.