You might be thinking, What? Extreme honeymoon? Does that mean you traveled at high speeds and went bungee jumping?
No, I experienced multiple extremes and contrasts during my honeymoon that set the stage for a successful and happy marriage because they taught me to remember what’s most important when conditions change.
Many people prefer to be pampered in luxurious hotels while on vacation. Others would feel more comfortable camping and sleeping in a tent. I did both on my honeymoon. Some nights I was in the best suite at the Kealani Resort on Maui and other nights I was covered in a fine layer of dust from mining crystals on Petersen Mountain, just outside Reno, Nevada.
Many people like to have their vacations thoroughly planned to eliminate any surprises. Others would rather be more spontaneous, reasoning that the fewer plans, the fewer opportunities for things to go wrong. My honeymoon was both planned and spontaneous!
My husband-to-be, David intended the honeymoon to be the beginning of a bold and daring adventure and that it was!
There were other extremes too — like hot weather on the Hawaiian islands and cold weather during the Pacific Northwest part of the trip.
At the end was a visit to New York City to see some shows on Broadway before visiting my parents in Connecticut. We saw Chicago, a droll, black-costumed satire — then the dazzling Beauty and the Beast — full of color and special effects.
The most striking contrast of the entire honeymoon was one of control versus spontaneity. David had managed to surprise me up until the last minute. I like surprises, so it was fine with me. But there were logistical details that he had to deal with that made things rather interesting.
David told me that we could be traveling to anyplace in the world. To fulfill a work security requirement, I needed to enroll my work colleagues so that they could submit the travel request on my behalf — if it was needed because I was to travel outside the U.S. This led to constant teasing — as the secret was shared — that “I know where you’re going on your honeymoon but you don’t!”
Another logistical detail had to do with packing. It went something like this —
But David, will I need to pack for warm or cool weather?
There was one specific requirement David informed me of and sent me shopping to my favorite second-hand shop.
You’ll need to find a warm coat that you won’t mind getting dirty or ruined and you can always throw away afterwards.
I paid $5 for a coat that I have worn every Winter since, while going for walks in the snow and I know I’ll never throw it away!
The honeymoon agenda was revealed one plane ride at a time, and this was a big part of the adventure! I’m sure that if David thought he could keep my eyes and ears closed at the gate, he would have instead exposed each secret as I debarked the plane — perhaps by asking me, can you guess where you are?
Each time we got to our seats on a plane I’d be handed a new folder with background information on the location and brochures for activities I could choose from. This was where I had the opportunity to make all the decisions about where we went at each location and what we did. The adventure and an element of control were both part of what was a very fun and exciting time.
Another honeymoon contrast was play versus work. We all know that honeymoons are special vacations and during vacations you play. When I was handed the brochure for the Hawaiian island of Kauai, I immediately thought of a location there that was related to the work I did, and made arrangements to drop in for a tour while on the island. The work colleagues I called to help me set it all up were those who had teased me about the honeymoon location secrets.
Once I returned to work and was sitting with a group of my colleagues and talking about my trip, someone spoke up and said, “Must have not been that great a honeymoon if you needed to go in to work.” Without skipping a beat, I retorted, “Are you kidding? It’s the only time I could get some rest!”
That ended that round of teasing!
Did I have fun at work while David was lounging on the beach waiting for me? You bet I did! And that is the approach I’ve taken to work versus play during my life ever since. Over time, I came to realize at a deeper and deeper level that everything is play, even what we call work. With this attitude I have had a great time every day, not just on Saturdays and Sundays!
How did this help me be happy in my married life?
Too much adventure doesn’t allow the planning necessary for a sense of security and direction. Too much control does not allow the adventure necessary to experience life at a level we otherwise could not even conceive as possible. This is the reason when our family prays for something we always add “or something better.”
I traveled to many different locations during my career, including multiple war zones, with a wide variety of accommodations. I couldn’t take my family to the war zones, yet always had a strong faith that my living conditions were temporary and what mattered most in my life was the deep, supportive love of my husband and family.
And so, without preconceived ideas of how it’s all supposed to be, the next bold and daring adventure awaits…
Kat Sohn is a Life Coach, public speaker and writer, and the CEO of Body Memory Process, LLC. After the passing of her beloved husband David Sohn in late 2019, Kat retired from a 36-year career with the federal government to focus on raising their two children, Benjamin (12) and Sarah (8) and continuing David’s novel work, the Body Memory Process. To share this powerful healing process as widely as possible, Kat has created courses, articles and seminars about the work. You can learn more about the Body Memory Process at bodymemoryprocess.com.
Happiness and Joy During Turbulent Times https://medium.com/authority-magazine/happiness-and-joy-during-turbulent-times-kathi-sohn-of-body-