Could Your Birth Script be Holding You Back?
It’s late January and about the time when many people start to notice their New Year’s resolutions melt into the old year’s patterns. Will power can be like that caffeine boost that get’s us going in the morning after a bad night’s sleep. But caffeine is not a long term solution to poor sleeping habits. In the same way, will power cannot sustain change in lieu of in-depth exploration of the causes of unwanted habits.
Why do so many of us struggle with habits that run counter to our deepest desires for an ever-expanding and fulfilling life?
The list of bad habits people struggle with is very long, so let’s just look at habits that keep us in a self-inflicted state of stress because of our turbulent relationship with time.
Habits like procrastination, always being late, over-commitment, staying up too late, and not finishing what we start.
Your birth was a significant part of the first seven years of your life when you created beliefs about yourself, others and the world. You might be inclined to dismiss the importance of circumstances surrounding your birth because you were much too young to remember anything. But we are not talking about your conscious mind.
I offer my own life challenges as an example.
I was born extremely premature, towards the end of my sixth month of gestation. I did not complete my gestational period, and one of my biggest difficulties has been finishing what I start.
I also struggled with procrastination until I realized that it was allowing me to artificially create great urgency every time I neared a deadline. Because my life began with a life-threatening emergency, I was stuck in a pattern of resistance to creating a calm and steady progress towards my goal.
My life began under great pressure — to grow, to live, to be hugged and loved enough when I was an orphan who was separated from my caregivers by the walls of my incubator. And I was compelled to recreate this pressure every time I needed to do something significant.
Thankfully, not everyone has as dramatic a birth story as I do!
But even the most innocuous of circumstances can still set up a pattern.
If you were born earlier than expected, you could find yourself compelled to show up early to appointments. Likewise, being born late can earn you a reputation for being a “Last Minute Charlie.”
Along with when and how you were born, remarks made by the doctor or anyone else present at the birth can have their impact.
In my work, one client said he had finally gotten to the bottom of never feeling like he was exceptional — no matter how many accomplishments he made. At his birth the doctor had said to his mom, “There’s nothing special about this one.” What he meant was it was a textbook birth. The impact on the baby was a lifetime of not feeling special.
No, we don’t understand language or even mentally process what is going on when we are in the womb or at our birth. Research by Dr. David Chamberlain in the 1980s revealed that babies and children our aware and energetically connected to everything that is happening to and around them (see “Babies Remember Birth”). This is all still present in our subconscious — that highly powerful, often forgotten part of ourselves.
So be curious and search for a deeper meaning behind the habits you desire to change. Because that could be the game changer you are looking for.
Kathi Sohn is author of the Amazon bestseller, “You Made It Up, Now Stop Believing It,” and is the leading expert in the creation, discovery, and release of limiting and destructive core beliefs we create in early childhood. Learn more about Kathi and her work at https://kathisohn.com and download your free parent guide to supporting your teen’s mental health at https://bit.ly/3WHjgou.
